In my therapy practice, many parents of adolescents talk about feeling like they don’t know their child anymore because their interactions with their child have changed so much. Sometimes communicating with a pre-teen or teenager can seem to be an unpredictable roller coaster.
Why is this?
Adolescence is a time of significant change. There are biological changes (e.g., brain development, puberty) and social-emotional changes that occur during adolescence. These changes can contribute to the way in which a teenager makes decisions and interacts with others in their lives. As children move through adolescence, we may need to change how we communicate with them to account for the changes they are experiencing.
So, what strategies can make communicating with teens more effective? There are a variety of strategies that could be tried, such as:
· Be authentic. Adolescents tend to be able to pick up on when someone is being “fake” and this may make them reluctant to share information with that person
· Be ready and take advantage of times your child seems willing to talk. The time that your child may be most willing to engage in a meaningful conversation may not fit with your ideal schedule (e.g., late at night), so caregivers need to be flexible if they want to have meaningful conversations with their child.
· Focus on what you can control. You are not able to control your child’s thoughts and feelings, but you are able to control your own thoughts and behaviors in response to your child’s actions.
· Help your child learn to think critically. Helping your child think through their decisions will be more effective than lecturing or telling them what to do.
Are you interested in learning more strategies that may help improve communication with your pre-teen or teenager? Consider attending the Communicating Effectively with Teens break out session that Sarah is presenting at the ISD 196 Parenting Conference on Saturday, November 1, 2014. Registration information is available at: https://district196.ce.feepay.com/course/fall-adult-2014/parent-education-conference.
Sarah also offers counseling to help families navigate struggles they may be facing during their child’s adolescence. For more information please visit www.sarahleitschuhcounseling.com.
