As parents, we often hear about the importance of our children developing healthy social skills. But, what exactly does that mean? In this article, a licensed therapist will address some common questions parents may ask about helping their children develop healthy social skills. Additionally, information about a free workshop opportunity for those interested in learning more about this topic can be found at the end of the article.
What are social skills?
Social skills are the abilities that help us build and maintain relationships. They help us communicate, interact and get along with others. Social skills include successfully observing, interpreting and responding to social cues others are sharing. Additionally having social skills means being able to successfully meet expectations around the following concepts:
· Verbal Communication Skills:
o Word choice
o Use of encouraging words
o Effective and appropriate questioning
o Turn taking during conversation (not interrupting or dominating the conversation)
o Use of manners
· Nonverbal Communication Skills:
o Body language & posture
o Use of Gestures
o Facial Expression
o Eye contact
o Personal Space & Touch
o Tone and volume of voice
· Problem solving and conflict management skills
· Being able to adjust to different expectations based on different settings or types of relationship
· Personal Appearance (e.g., personal hygiene)
What types of activities promote the development of healthy social skills?
Most children will naturally acquire healthy social skills by watching others interact with each other in healthy ways and by learning and following rules that are implemented at home, school and other settings. The following activities could be used to help enhance a child’s understanding of social skills:
· Discuss everyday social situations and explain them to your child. (e.g., Discussing why another child doesn’t appreciate it when we take a favorite toy without permission)
· Read and discuss books that address typical social situations. Almost all children’s books address a social interaction of some sort.
· Point out social cues that are being demonstrated when watching television or movies
· Utilize role plays to allow your child the opportunity to brainstorm ways to address a problematic social situation he or she is encountering (e.g., how to respond to bullying).
· Pay attention to themes of social interaction in your child’s play and use those times as an opportunity for further discussion. Playing with dolls, stuff animals or other figures may be sparks for great discussions.
When should we be concerned?
It is normal to see a range in the way children (and adults) interact socially. Some people are naturally more extroverted and others are naturally quieter. You would also expect to see differences in the way children interact socially based on their age. There are also cultural differences regarding what is acceptable in social interactions.
Some situations may require more direct support around handling social situations; for example, if a child has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Social Anxiety. Additionally, if a child consistently demonstrates inappropriate boundaries with others and cannot be re-directed, additional assessment and intervention may be needed.
If you are concerned about your child’s social skills, you may want to consider consulting with your child’s daycare provider, teacher, a school social worker or counselor, or a mental health professional skilled in assessing children.
Want to learn more?
Sarah Leitschuh Counseling, LLC is hosting a FREE one hour workshop for parents, caregivers and other interested adults who want to learn more about helping children develop healthy social skills. The workshop is called Social Skills 101: Fostering Healthy Social skills. There are two options to attend; 9/30/14 from 6:30-7:30 pm and 10/7/14 from 1-2 pm. To register or learn more information please visit: http://sarahleitschuhcounseling.com/free-workshops/
